That day my wife was to visit her mother (who lived a few kilometers away) for some work and stay there overnight. She asked me to drop her on scooter. As she was to take along our younger daughter with her, we had to leave our elder daughter home. She was only 7 years at that time. I instructed her to stay home, do her home work and keep the door of her room closed but not to sleep as I would be coming soon. Repeating my instructions to her we left.

On my return I knocked at the door. No response. I knocked a bit louder. Still no response. I banged and again and again but to no avail.

As there was no other entrance to the house I took a rod and broke the window pane and pulled down the curtain. It dropped on the settee kept along the wall. I peeped in.  She was not there. I got worried and tense.

My kitchen was adjacent to this room and nasty thought started creeping into my mind. I called out loud, shouted to my full strength but heard my only my own voice. I went back to the door and banged it hard and kept doing it till its hinges broke free.  I flew straight to the kitchen but did not find her.

My fear of losing her grew stronger. I could almost hear the beats of my heart growing louder and louder. I came back to the room and in a fit of helplessness, anger and worry picked up the curtain to throw it on the ground.

There she was, under the curtain, deep in slumbers. I shook her, pulled her up onto her toes and slapped her hard across the face. She woke up in a shock and gazed at me bewildered. Tears started rolling down her cheeks and wetting her frilled collars. I slapped her again and shouted “Why the hell did you sleep? I had told you not to sleep.

Did you do your homework? Why did you not wake up despite  my shouting and calling ? How much worried was I not being able to find you any where?” She silently and in tears listened to me and finally said in a choked voice “Papa, maine homework kar liya tha phir mujhe neend aa gayi isliye so gayi. I am sorry”.

These words squeezed my heart out. I felt as if I had not slapped my cute daughter but my own self. I looked at her through my teary eyes. How innocent, how loving was she. I wanted to cut off my hands. I wanted to kill myself. I took her face in my hands and kissed her cheeks which had become red with my slap. I could not understand what to do to punish myself. I pleaded her to forgive me and asked her to slap me hard so that I do not repeat this ever. She was stunned but kept on saying “Sorry Papa. It was my fault. I will not disobey you ever”.  These simple lines made me feel guilty as it was I who had disobeyed the Rules of Nature.

I don’t know if she still remembers my cruelty or whether she has forgiven me but I yet feel the slap on my own face and will never ever forgive myself.

This is a confession I want to make not before GOD but before my angelic DAUGHTER.

Related posts:

1. Avarice Intensified!!
2. I own you coz I am your DAD

Doesn’t the word (God fearing) sounds contradictory to the title?Let me explain.

This question must have cropped in a crore of minds; minds of those who are really concerned about the Welfare: Welfare for the country, for themselves, for others etc. Frankly speaking, I ask this as I am worried about me and my family.

Do not misunderstand me and label me as a self centered person. In fact, maybe, when I am talking about myself I know that this conversation will stand true for all in general, thus concerned about the welfare of our country as a whole.

Many instances have happened whence I started becoming skeptical about  God’s existence.

Bribery, law and order failures, rapes, shoot-outs, dacoity, kidnappings, homicides, child abuse, accidents, miseries, blah blah! and n-number of in-disciplinary actions occur so many times before our eyes.

Our fathers, fore fathers and great grand fathers had been reiterating since ages that there is God and we accepted their statement without questioning them. But now, when I see around me I start questioning myself – Does God Exist?

If yes then where is He? Was he born Only to Create this Universe? Why did my elders say “We should fear God, there is delay not darkness in Gods palace, he is looking on us and noting all misdeeds happening down here, etc”.

Why then are the culprits roaming scott free and die a king’s death without anything bad happening to them? Why isn’t God severely punishing them as He should be noting down their misdeeds? Why are honest and like people suffering more than those who are involved in abject activities? Why is God sitting idle and not giving some sense to these Culprits?

Why is the graph of illegal activities rising steeply on daily basis? Where has the Utopian concept disappeared? Has God also got tuned to today’s ‘just carry on status’ or is He following ‘greater the offerings greater the secuirty’?

There is an old saying – ” to prove something any number of examples are insufficient but to condemn it only one is enough ”

As I have put forward quite a few reasons to contradict the existence of God, we should now start believing the fact that -

//

GOD WAS HERE TO CREATE UNIVERSE AND NOW HE NO LONGER EXISTS? WE SHOULD NOT FEAR HIM? CORRECT?

//

Any contradictions ? If yes please convince me as these questions are being posed by my kids who nowadays do not take things out-rightly as we did and they are surely considered to be considerate for the welfare of our country.

We need to guide them in a practical manner.

//

Related posts:

1. What about values & ethics ?
2. Relation between Power, Authority and Legitimacy

Guddu aged around 55 years is/was working with my brother as an assistant to him, in a daily newspaper at Allahabad.
He is innocent, hard working, good natured and always ready to help anyone. He is not married and is living with his elder brother, bhabhi(sister-in-law), their two kids and mother who is bed ridden.
He loves and respects his mother and all other members in the family a lot (as we all do). Now the reason , as to why this name is echoing in my mind.
As his mother is not really well and he loves her a lot, he has left his job to give his full time and attention to his mother (which we ALL may not do – I believe).

Was it required to quit the job? Do such steps really help?

If one answers in the affirmative considering that this is being done for his mother, then I am ready to accept the fact that mothers are priceless and should be well attended.  But won’t you go deep into the realities of life? He has no one to look after him. If you say it’s his brother then I would definitely respond with an answer that how can we expect him to get aid from a brother, who is unable to take care of his mother.
What will Guddu do for his livelihood and till when? Is he a fool or does he have some vested interest in doing all this for his mother?
Then I recollect that Guddu is innocent etc. etc. Is he stupid? Yes? That means I outright, am refusing to accept the fact that mothers should be taken care by her off- springs during trying circumstances.  Is his love for his mother so great that he has nothing else to think of ?
My article may seem to be confusing as I am not able to get an answer to my own question.

So will someone help me to know this strange person Guddu and the actual reason for him to take this step of quitting his Job for the reason of looking after his ailing mother?

Related posts:

1. Letter to the parents – touching
2. 1411

I am in a private road construction company working as a manager (admin & liaison).

My job involves all sorts of (in house) administrative dealings and curbing of unfair activities. There happened quite a few incidents when I was informed about  my staff engaged in unfair activities like taking bribes, manipulating company’s expenses, being absent from work,enjoying at home etc.

These so called employees (though not having high posts and working as supervisors) have links with the higher authorities/management. During the start of these activities I tried to bring this to the knowledge of the management but they brushed my information under the carpet which resulted in more unfair activities being done with impunity and abundance.

Further I almost became a sore in the culprits’ eye which could have resulted in back biting and even my ouster from the company. Sensing this I had to close my eyes and gulp down the milk so poisoned with such happenings. This was hard to do and I feel almost a culprit as I was trained by my Father (who is no more) for HONESTY, DEDICATION, DEVOTION and DETERMINATION.

I am writing this article seeking YOUR suggestion. It is necessary for you to step into my shoes and advice.

1. Am I doing right by ignoring such activities? If not then should I put my job at stake (during recession phase) and start leading a pauper’s life and force my family the same?
2. Do the words like HONESTY, DEDICATION, DEVOTION, DETERMINATION etc. hold no meaning in our present environment in India (I haven’t been abroad) and do they just lead to problems and miseries?
3. What ‘SANSKARs’ should be given to my children which are in a true sense perfect and adaptable to our present environment?

Related posts:

1. A Good College Vs Inner Values
2. Does God Exist?