Doesn’t the word (God fearing) sounds contradictory to the title?Let me explain.

This question must have cropped in a crore of minds; minds of those who are really concerned about the Welfare: Welfare for the country, for themselves, for others etc. Frankly speaking, I ask this as I am worried about me and my family.

Do not misunderstand me and label me as a self centered person. In fact, maybe, when I am talking about myself I know that this conversation will stand true for all in general, thus concerned about the welfare of our country as a whole.

Many instances have happened whence I started becoming skeptical about  God’s existence.

Bribery, law and order failures, rapes, shoot-outs, dacoity, kidnappings, homicides, child abuse, accidents, miseries, blah blah! and n-number of in-disciplinary actions occur so many times before our eyes.

Our fathers, fore fathers and great grand fathers had been reiterating since ages that there is God and we accepted their statement without questioning them. But now, when I see around me I start questioning myself – Does God Exist?

If yes then where is He? Was he born Only to Create this Universe? Why did my elders say “We should fear God, there is delay not darkness in Gods palace, he is looking on us and noting all misdeeds happening down here, etc”.

Why then are the culprits roaming scott free and die a king’s death without anything bad happening to them? Why isn’t God severely punishing them as He should be noting down their misdeeds? Why are honest and like people suffering more than those who are involved in abject activities? Why is God sitting idle and not giving some sense to these Culprits?

Why is the graph of illegal activities rising steeply on daily basis? Where has the Utopian concept disappeared? Has God also got tuned to today’s ‘just carry on status’ or is He following ‘greater the offerings greater the secuirty’?

There is an old saying – ” to prove something any number of examples are insufficient but to condemn it only one is enough ”

As I have put forward quite a few reasons to contradict the existence of God, we should now start believing the fact that -

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GOD WAS HERE TO CREATE UNIVERSE AND NOW HE NO LONGER EXISTS? WE SHOULD NOT FEAR HIM? CORRECT?

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Any contradictions ? If yes please convince me as these questions are being posed by my kids who nowadays do not take things out-rightly as we did and they are surely considered to be considerate for the welfare of our country.

We need to guide them in a practical manner.

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But I’ve been thinking about how I choose to “present myself”.

It’s so easy on a public domain such as Facebook to pick and choose what we reveal about ourselves, what we choose to post on others walls, what we choose to put as our “status updates”. We can construct ourselves in a careful and planned way so that we are able to present only the best.

It’s the exact opposite of real family and community. When you live and share your life with people it’s impossible to hide the “bad bits”. They overflow out of us, often with no control. We put ourselves in a place of vulnerability when we let others see the darkness that’s within us. But we also put ourselves in a place to grow in our relationships, and allow other people to bring out all our potential. This is often when we feel truly alive.

What are your thoughts on this?

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The first thing that came my way was a tight one across my face before I could even realise how late I was.

The second thing that came my way was a series of dialogues to tell me that I should be really guilt conscious of the crime I had committed.

“We’ll die one day waiting for you” - well even I know I am late and I am sorry for it but why do you make it so melodramatic ?
“You are so careless and irresponsible . You don’t care about us.” – I really don’t know what to say to this . Sigh !
“No one can do as much as we have done for you. We are not wrong” I know I should be grateful to you, for all you have given me but why degrade the feeling by saying it.
“Your friends are more important to you than us. You don’t talk to us” -please ask yourselves why is that ? Probably it is because you never tried to be a good friend or rather never understood what I used to feel as a child.

I woke up this morning and the first thing that came to my mind was that oooh no- the same day once again !

Whats new in my life ?

And I’ll die one day still stuck with this routine – N O ! One life I want to live it.

Let me be on a high; let me  live today,tomorrow can wait.

My dad left his home came to Dehradun when he was 19 and started his business and since then he has been on his own. I am 24 and still struggling to find  my place.
I am not asking for any suggestions but the question remains -when you have lived your life the way you wanted to then don’t you think I deserve the same right?
Did you bring me into this world  so that I will do all those things which you wanted to do always but could not or that which you would want of me ?

All in all a simple question – DO I DESERVE TO LIVE ?
Am I a dummy carrier of your emotional needs/ desires from life.

Indeed I love my parents but it doesn’t mean they own my choices.

Nature gives us an amazing example where a baby bird leaves the nest as soon as it learns to fly.
My birth was decided by my parents,true, but that I shall be born in this family,in this place at this given time,who decides that ?

Who decides my life ? It’s the almighty who must have decided this way before my parents decided to give birth to me.

So I should be more grateful to Him more than anyone else to have given me the life I am living.
He loves me so much that He never complains of what I am or when I come home late. Neither does He tell me that I should be doing things according to Him or else He will be angry.Nor does He slap me when I say I want to live.

Love is unconditional.  “I will not talk to you because you didn’t do this” – how foolish is that ?

But my parents tell me, this is what is love according to them

“Son you will be never outdo us in making wiser decisions, no matter how old you grow. We will make a better choice for you because we know you every time better than you know yourself” – indirectly meaning “I OWN YOU COZ IAM YOUR DAD”

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Guddu aged around 55 years is/was working with my brother as an assistant to him, in a daily newspaper at Allahabad.
He is innocent, hard working, good natured and always ready to help anyone. He is not married and is living with his elder brother, bhabhi(sister-in-law), their two kids and mother who is bed ridden.
He loves and respects his mother and all other members in the family a lot (as we all do). Now the reason , as to why this name is echoing in my mind.
As his mother is not really well and he loves her a lot, he has left his job to give his full time and attention to his mother (which we ALL may not do – I believe).

Was it required to quit the job? Do such steps really help?

If one answers in the affirmative considering that this is being done for his mother, then I am ready to accept the fact that mothers are priceless and should be well attended.  But won’t you go deep into the realities of life? He has no one to look after him. If you say it’s his brother then I would definitely respond with an answer that how can we expect him to get aid from a brother, who is unable to take care of his mother.
What will Guddu do for his livelihood and till when? Is he a fool or does he have some vested interest in doing all this for his mother?
Then I recollect that Guddu is innocent etc. etc. Is he stupid? Yes? That means I outright, am refusing to accept the fact that mothers should be taken care by her off- springs during trying circumstances.  Is his love for his mother so great that he has nothing else to think of ?
My article may seem to be confusing as I am not able to get an answer to my own question.

So will someone help me to know this strange person Guddu and the actual reason for him to take this step of quitting his Job for the reason of looking after his ailing mother?

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Put eight monkeys in a room. In the middle of the room is a  ladder, leading to a bunch of bananas hanging from a hook on the  ceiling. Each time a monkey tries to climb the ladder, all the monkeys  are sprayed with ice water, which makes them miserable. Soon enough, whenever a monkey attempts to climb the ladder, all of the other monkeys, not  wanting to be sprayed, set upon him and beat him up.

Soon, none of the  eight monkeys ever attempts to climb the ladder. Then one of the  original monkeys is then removed, and a new monkey is put in the room.  Seeing the bananas and the ladder, he wonders why none of the other monkeys  are doing the obvious. But undaunted, he immediately begins to climb the  ladder.

All the other monkeys fall upon him and beat him silly. He has no  idea why. however, he no longer attempts to climb the ladder. A  second original monkey is removed and replaced. The newcomer again attempts  to climb the ladder, but all the other monkeys hammer the crap out of him. This includes the previous new monkey, who, grateful that he’s not on the receiving end this time, participates in the beating because all the other monkeys are doing it. However, he has no idea why he’s attacking the new monkey.

One by one, all the original monkeys are replaced. Eight  new monkeys are now in the room. None of them have ever been sprayed by ice  water. None of them attempt to climb the ladder. All of them will enthusiastically beat up any new monkey who tries, without having any idea  why.

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In one of the news items, a professor father of an IAS officer said that he knew the day his daughter was born that she would become an IAS and nothing else because he wanted her to get married to an IAS ! He further said , since as a professor he can not manage the amount of money that would be needed to get her married to an IAS in UP or Bihar, so he thought it would be better if his daughter became an IAS.

Having read this i couldn’t help but wonder– even an academician thinks that it is his right  to decide his child’s career rather than leave the choice to the child. Secondly,importance given to position of the prospective bridegroom and willingness to give dowry for the same (had he had that kind of money) by an university professor made me wonder about the attitude of less educated people !

The other news item which provoked my curiosity is that a man who raped and strangulated a minor girl( she was kidnapped from her house, taken to a deserted place , raped and then strangled to death.) has been spared the noose because extreme penalty is required to be given in rarest of rare case and that state should give an opportunity to a deviant citizen to reform.

With due respect to our judiciary, I, as an ordinary citizen and being a woman wonder;what about justice to the girl’s right to life? What about violation to  her opportunity to live with dignity?

If a rapist and a killer who did so for sheer momentary pleasure is given a chance to live , what justice is given to that MINOR girl who was not only killed but physically and emotionally abused  and humiliated for no fault?

Any response, DYCians?

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Every summer vacation joined a new hobby class.Tried everything that came across.We were explorers as a kid and never tired of exploring and discovering more and more.
Everyday experimented our abilities with something new,if succeeded well and good,if not, never mind.Something else must be in stored for us.We continued our search..
Search for excitement, enthusiasm and happiness;search for the high that one feels after doing or creating something,which could very well be building a clay castle or writing poetry.

What happened to us when we technically ‘grew up’?
Is our search over?
Are we done with all exploring with ourselves?
Or have we experienced all the highs we wanted to feel?

Have we done all the crazy things we wanted to do?
No.We haven’t.
Within all of us there is still that kid who is in constant quest to know more,do more;experience something new,discover new aspects of ourselves.
So what stops us ? Responsibilities ?  Need to earn and make a living ? Peer pressure?

Maybe all of it!

But if we continue living like this then aren’t we running or rather are we really ‘living’ that way. By doing what we are ‘supposed’ to do and not what we really want to do, we are simply running  a rat race. In such a kind of life, we wait for things like promotion or hike in salary to give us a high.Why not experience this high more often?

It’s all in our hands.

Do things that you want to do.What you always wanted to do -sing, paint, dance, rock climbing.Be the child you want to be – LIVE.
Why do we say that childhood days are the best?
Because then we did what we desired.Did not care for the world and through this we experienced the freedom of childhood.
Bring back that freedom to your life-start living.

You may even change your monotonous vocation (if that is not what you want to do). There is no harm to quit the job of software engineer at the age of 35 and be a painter, if you desire so.
It does take a while to know what gives you the real happiness. It’s okay to take your time and decide. But it’s definitely not okay to do where your heart, mind and soul is not there.

What do you live for??
HAPPINESS

What is the point of living if you do not experience this happiness?That way you’ll be just breathing and not living.
There is a famous quote: ‘Don’t run through life so fast that you forget where you were and where you are going’
In this piece, to some I might be sounding  too liberal or impractical or a new young girl in the world who does not know the complexities of this world,whatever the case maybe.
The bottom line is to be FREE.

(Choice is completely individualistic…how one would like to feel this FREEDOM.)

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I just finished watching one episode each of Chak Dhoom Dhoom and Dance India Dance, both airing simultaneously. It is quite rare for me to be watching TV and not be watching National Geographic, Discovery, Animal Planet and/or Fox History on it. Well good that I did watch these two for a change, for something was waiting to be unlearned.

Ever since these shows started , some years back, I have held the same opinion about them. NO GOOD, mostly.

They attract a few passionate and many lost.
Hello, not everyone can be a professional singer ! Not everyone can be a professional dancer ! Not everyone can be a celebrity ( liked I really cared that , that’s what people want to be also ) !

My friend the expression “everyone” in India usually translates into a huge number , given the fact that we are many many many here. This means many go back home disappointed ,crying, disillusioned and sometimes ready to die (suicidal I mean) !

The effect that these shows have on kids and parents is phenomenal. Many a dream is born and most shattered.Once shattered, then what ? Good question as I ask myself too .

The answer is not all that great. Like I said before, it can be suicidal also. The hype and the focus are so great that the consequences of losing are devastating. Our kids don’t know how to lose and our parents are only making things worse.

It’s interesting how the judges at such shows give “quick fix” answers to losing candidates ! Oh, boy “quick fixes” don’t work.

I also wonder what’s wrong with the parents ? If it’s not for your child then it’s not for your child. Don’t try to make it his or hers. ! But they never seem to get that. Tonnes of pressure on kids to perform and do exceedingly well and nothing else. To encourage a child to be all that he/she can be as against this one or two things, is what the parents should be doing. It’s just some reality show. It’s not the end of your child’s life or his/her career. Sort of reminds me of the kick-butt movie ” 3 Idiots “, where one the idiots narrates that within minutes of his birth his father had already declared what his son would take up as a career ! Moronic or what ?

Enough bashing. Here’s the turn along the road.

Boy, I did see some very very talented kids from really really poor backgrounds getting the opportunity ! That excited me and I watched on. I saw these very passionate dancers from severely poverty stricken backgrounds getting the chance to make things happen. And that was good. They did well and were recognized and things seemed to be fitting for me. I saw extreme passion in them and tonnes of hopes clinging onto this one chance. My heart melted to see India’s talent that has no chance.

I understand that parallel to this, some singing reality shows too provided a chance to hidden talent from the financially poor backgrounds. I liked that and all of this made me re-think .Things had to be unlearned.

There were some monkey advertisements that played during the shows, which I would like to talk about in another post ( specially that jumping jack Akshay Kumar going ” Button Khula Hai ” ).

My wife and I are planning for kids next year. I pray we can do things right and better as parents. Those would be our 2 cents.

P.S. Originally posted by me on my personal blog here

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The discussion was about political corruption. And the Yaksha Prashna (read as: million dollar question) was that given the corrupt political system that we Indians have, should one vote or not?

I was very vehement in stating that since everybody is corrupt, it is a good idea not to vote. At least, at the end of the day you would have the satisfaction of saying that I was no way a part of something that will eventually do much wrong.

Most of us agreed that the only solution was a focus on ethics…a system of education wherein one can understand the significance of values. And the hope rests in our generation…seeing more integrity of character enter into politics rather than being absorbed by the IIMs and IITs.

But the question still held. The change can’t come overnight; and the returns can only come in the future. So what should one do now? Vote or stay away?

One of the perspectives that surfaced was that we should all support the mission of values, which will be a continuous process; and as of now, vote for somebody who’s less corrupt. It sounded like a reasonable solution to me. It seemed like an answer. End of the day, I forgot about the whole discussion.

But today, as I was riding to appear in my exam, the thought came up again. The question felt sharper. Now the question was: HOW CAN ONE FIND OUT WHO IS LESS CORRUPT ?

Apart from being  very politically aware, there is no other way to uncover reality. And even then, the doubts may still linger. Are the media reporting facts or are they opinionated & biased?

Often, the choice is not – whether to vote for Madhu Koda or not? Those are high profile cases. In general we have lesser known candidates to choose from. One way to make up your mind is go by the political party’s name, make the inference based on its image. Another important question is that what is the standing of the candidate within the party? He may be a mere instruction follower (I refrain from using the word “puppet”).

I mean I can go on & on about the questions that the situation poses.

Also, corruption has no absolutes. Finding out who is less corrupt is almost impossible, and it is a very relative concept. Who’s better…the guy who ate a pie worth Rs. XXX crore out of the funds allocated for public welfare…or the guy whose negligence led to a mishap which killed XXX number of people? Mind you, the Rs. XXX crore also kills relentlessly;one can check the statistics on the number of deaths due to poverty and hunger; a glimpse:

I’m in a dilemma; I must admit. How do I carry out my responsibility and keep my conscience clear at the same time?  Hence, I beckon you all to come up with a solution.

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This is a famous quote of Pink Floyd.

All of us have dreams. All of us have an idea of how we want our life to be. We imagine and romanticize various situations in our life well before in advance. Because no matter how much we talk of living in the present all of us do think about future and plan it.

Some are concrete and practical plans but for the situations which are not in our hands, we, subconsciously, tend to make a rough idea of how that situation will unfold in our life.

For instance, we do imagine about our future love.

Whom we’ll meet or who will fall for us is not in anyone’s control. But as a young person, we do shape our own love stories in our mind.

Peer influence has a major role to play in this. When we see most of your friends or peer group hanging around with their girlfriends/boyfriends, we do tend to feel that someday I’ll be at their place and then it’s going to be like this.

Knowingly or unknowingly we do make an imagination of this need of ours. Then there may come a time when we feel that everyone has it and not me…intentionally or unintentionally we wait for that moment…that phase to come in our life.

And in case of love, during this waiting period whosoever comes across and shows interest, one feels yes it has come now. The search is over.

(The unpronounced feelings here are: Even I am in the league. I am not apart from the group)

And then in the relationship, the person tends to live the idea that he already had in his mind about his love life and not the real relationship.

We are in a hurry to live the phases that apparently everyone else is going through. We do not want to be left apart from not feeling what everyone else is feeling.

This stage usually happens when one is at the peak of his/her youth. The maturity of analyzing the real feelings or just the idea of experiencing those feelings comes with age and experience.

This viewpoint is to make one ponder about what happened and what is happening…It is not about making anyone skeptic about his/her relationship (if one is already into).

This is just to stop him/her for a moment…think and look inwards and ask…

Whether it is love or is it just the idea of being in love?

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